Ask the president of Komen a question

Ask the President of Komen a question

I've been invited to participate in a VIP summit next month with the Komen Foundation. It will take place the weekend of the Global Race for the Cure in Washington, DC.

There are a lot of exciting briefings that will take place during the two day meeting. But I am most excited about the opportunity to sit and talk with the President and CEO of Komen, Dr. Judy A. Salerno.

I was considering organizing a team for the walk (as I have in the past) but my intuition told me to just wait on that decision. I am glad that I did. I know that a lot of my survivor sisters are not fond of Komen these days... but I'm not in that camp. Despite their flaws I think that Komen does great work around the world and they've done an absolutely phenomenal job raising awareness of this disease.

I do believe that there are plenty of topics in the world of breast cancer that need to be addressed and I hope that this summit offers me the opportunity to learn more about what their strategic plans are for the future.

I would like to walk into this meeting prepared with my thoughts and feelings about breast cancer and where we are in terms of research, awareness, global programs and education.

Did I ever tell you that my dream would be to take "My Fabulous Boobies" on the road? Specifically to Africa? *dreamy sigh* Yes... that is my dream. But while I am here in the US and offered an opportunity to learn and share, I plan to take full advantage of it.

That brings me to my question of you...

What questions do you have for the Komen Foundation? 

Drop me a line in the comments section, please. I will take your thoughts and my own into this summit and report back when its over. 

Question: Would you be interested in a Fabulous Boobies newsletter?

My Fabulous B**bies http://ift.tt/1rmXwGN

I have been toying with the idea of starting a "Fab Boobies" newsletter. I come across a lot of really good information every day and I'd like to share some of this with you. I'd also like to share snippets of the upcoming book with you as well. If you think that a newsletter would be a good idea, drop me a line in the comments section.

I always want to chat and share with you.

 

Truth Tees are here!

I spend most of my days in front of my computer, tapping away or reading. Since I became a full-time blogger, my usage of t-shirts has grown exponentially. (laughs) I wear some type of t-shirt every day. And at least once a week, you can find me sporting a breast cancer t-shirt of some type. One day it hit me that I should consider offering t-shirts to my readers, so they can join my "relaxed at home" movement.

[http://fabulous-boobies.blogspot.com/p/store.html]

So... I've launched Truth Tees ...until there is a cure. I just started this online shop but expect to see more variety in the coming weeks. However, in the meantime you can check out the Truth Tees store {Truth Tees...until there is a cure} and feel comfortable that your money is going to support your favorite breast cancer blogger. Me!



Thanks for taking a look. And making a purchase. :)  If you have any suggestions or ideas, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. 

Depression is real. You need a support system in your life.

Karyn Washington, blogger and social media maven

I have two points in this post:

Depression is real. You need a support system in your life. 

About a week ago, the world lost a bright star when blogger and social media maven Karyn Washington committed suicide. This beautiful and caring young woman was a mere 22 years old and in those few short years she made a powerful impact on so many people in the world.

Karyn founded a blog, For brown girls, and a movement, #darkskinredlipstick. Both outlets were created with the intent of helping young black women find strength in their own beauty and to acknowledge that they too have value, in a world that often celebrates lighter skin by demonizing darker skin.

I did not know Karyn personally but her tweets crossed my timeline on occasion. Hearing of her death shocked me. I had no idea that she was going through anything so hard. But it seems that the death of her mother (due to cancer) had proven to be the most difficult darkness of all.

As a cancer survivor, a black woman and a woman who suffered from depression when I was younger... Karyn's life issues (as I knew them) made sense to me. I am twice her age now and I will admit that sometimes the weight of race, gender, cancer and even depression... gets heavy even for me.

Depression is real. You need a support system in your life. 

As a black woman in America, I often feel unfairly saddled with the pervasive thought that I have to be strong. That "strong black woman" mythology hangs around necks of all of my sisters, day in and day out. For some of us, that weight drags us so far down it is a wonder that we have the strength to get up every day and keep moving. The pressure of living up to a mythological strength is a hard. Being "strong" at all times keeps many of us stuck and lost and incapable of reaching out for, or accepting help. The guilt that many of my sisters feel when they may be having a moment of weakness -- as humans often have -- keeps us silent in our troubles. Too many of my sisters feel that they don't have (or shouldn't need) a support system to get through this life.

As it goes... "our ancestors made it through slavery, you are a STRONG black woman and you can get through this...".

Look, I dropped my superwoman cape a long time ago. Beating myself up for being human and having frailties wasn't going to heal me. Accepting that about myself probably prepared me for my bout with breast cancer. I am grateful.

Depression is real. You need a support system in your life. 

I keep repeating these two statements because the simplicity of their message hides the depth of pain that they represent. Yes, I survived breast cancer. Yes, I am a black woman. Yes, my ancestors came to this country in chains and were kept against their will as slaves until that legal status was outlawed. Yes, I do still face racism and race bias. Yes, I am single and unmarried. And yes... all of these things do mean that I have dealt with some tough times. But I am NOT superwoman. I get tired. I get sad. I feel weak. I cry a lot. I am scared sometimes. And some days... I feel an emotional pain that is so raw that if I opened my mouth to let out the sound that corresponded with my pain... I could shake the earth. Some days I ache deep down in my bones... from the pure pain of what I've been through, people I've lost and trauma I've experienced. Simply put, I am human. I am not always the archetype of strength that others expect me to be.

And neither was my little sis Karyn. Even in the midst of her personal grief and pain, she still set out daily to empower other young black women to feel beautiful in their skin and to hold their heads up in the face of a world that constantly devalued them and their beauty. I cannot stop applauding her for that. But I know too well that a woman can be full of love and strength and courage for others... and have none left for herself. And I want all of us to stop doing that to ourselves.



If you need it, let me give you permission to call a friend (or a family member) and tell them that you need help. Then sit there while they help you. If you would be willing to help someone you know who needed you in their time of trouble... know that you are worth at least that much to them. And then let them help you.

There is no shame in needing assistance. There is no shame in grief or feeling emotionally exhausted. Give your friends and family a chance to love you and show you how much you mean to them.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

http://www.racialicious.com/2014/04/14/voices-rip-karyn-washington-founder-of-for-brown-girls-1992-2014/ 

Rest in peace dear sister. Your presence remains in our hearts and minds. Thank you for all that you gave us. We continue to honor your name. 

Ask a survivor: Does wearing the wrong bra contribute to breast cancer?

I've been asked this question a few times... so I guess its something that people really want to know about.

Q.  Does wearing the wrong size or shape bra contribute to developing breast cancer?

A. Short answer? Nope. 

Before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, buying and wearing bras was a PITA (pain in the a**). My breasts were large and heavy and finding beautiful bras was not only difficult, it was expensive. Lawd... it was really expensive.

I will admit now that I wore the wrong sized bras for years. I mean, years and years and years... I was shoving my boobies (poor things) into bras that just were not meant to contain them. *sigh* I just didn't know any better.

If every store that you shopped in only went up to DD bras, then you might have thought (as I did) that DD was as big as bras came. So that meant that was the largest size that breasts came in too.

NOPE!

I would read instructions about how to take your breast measurements, but I always thought that I was doing it wrong.

*you don't have to laugh that hard at my ignorance... okay, you can giggle a little bit*



I would measure the area underneath my breasts (my chest) and then I would measure across my breasts (while wearing a bra because my breasts were large and well... they drooped, blame gravity)... and the difference in the numbers just didn't make sense. The difference was like 10 inches. I couldn't understand it. Stores I shopped in didn't carry bras larger than DD so I figured that I was doing something wrong and I kept buying DD bras and mashing my boobies inside.

*yep... it looked horrible*

Finally, I found my way to a great lingerie store in Atlanta and my lovely sales assistant looked at me, smiled... walked out of the dressing room and reappeared with these magical bras. They were soooo magical. My entire breast fit into the entire cup. That had never happened to me before. Prior to that trip to Intimacy I thought that my breasts were supposed to be mashed in and around and sort of across that chest area. (insert sad face) The day that I walked into Intimacy and walked out hundreds of dollars broker but lifted, separated and feeling super, duper sexy... was a magical day. Mag-EEE-cal!

All of that to say, I wore the wrong size bras for years. I wore bras that compressed my breasts to my chest. I guess I was trying to minimize their impact on the rest of the world. Sadly, I didn't need to do any of that. I just needed to wear the proper garment and things were all different.

Over the years I've read a lot of things about breast cancer and I've talked to a lot of people about breast cancer (oncologists, researchers, clinicians, nurses) and the truth is that cancer starts at the cellular level. Your cells stop doing what they are supposed to do... and it changes everything.

Wearing uncomfortable and ill-fitted bras won't give you cancer. It will make you look a lumpy mess under your clothes. Depending on the quality of the bra, it may chafe your skin or cause a rash... but it will not give you cancer.

I stopped shopping at Victoria's Secret a long time ago. Long, long before I discovered Intimacy and the magical land of bras that fit larger breasts. For me, they just stopped working. They didn't offer sizes that fit me. And that was even before I knew that I was an H-cup and not a DD-cup.

Yup. H cup.  *let that marinate for a minute*  I had some HOOTERS!

So, don't fret that you are uncomfortable in your bras and may be causing cancer. You're not. You just need to go on a shopping spree and splurge on yourself. 

The worst advice I've received as a survivor

I was recently asked, "what was the worst advice you received as a breast cancer survivor?"

*blink, blink*

Uh... short answer?  I have no FLIPPIN' clue. Seriously.

Here's why:  Soooo many people have said so many things that felt (to me) really insensitive and crazy that I'm not sure that I can isolate one that was worse than any other.

But, none of the questions were intentionally mean-spirited or harsh. Just perhaps ill-timed, or clueless about the realities of going through breast cancer treatment.

I think that one thing I heard a lot that was pretty useless to me -- especially when I was in treatment -- was the line, "my grandmother, aunt, next door neighbor, old lady at the grocery store, blah blah blah... died from breast cancer."

*blink*

I have heard a lot of variables of this. I suspect that I always will. But typically, it is offered as a filler for the silence that follows when I say... "I am a breast cancer survivor".

Let me be honest, I feel for you if you've lost a loved one to breast cancer. I am deeply sorry for your loss. I mean that.

I think that breast cancer is an awful disease and the families that are devastated when a loved one is diagnosed or passes from the disease break my heart.

But when someone is IN treatment for breast cancer (actively taking chemotherapy, radiation therapy, breast surgeries, etc.) the news that someone else died from the disease does nothing to keep our spirits up. It only reminds us just how vulnerable we are and how frightening all of this is.

I'm not sure that your goal is to make a sick person feel worse about being sick. 

So... if you can refrain from reminding a breast cancer survivor that death is possible... I think it will do a lot of help the mindset of the person trying to beat the disease. Just a thought...

Ask a survivor: When should you get your first mammogram?

 I received the following question from a facebook friend and I told her that I would address it here on my blog.

Q.  When should you get your first mammogram?

A.  It depends on what you and your doctor decide together is best for you. More than likely, you'll start at age 40.

The widely accepted protocol in the US is that women should start receiving mammograms when they are 40 years old. This age has been widely debated and some people feel that the age should be raised to 50 because most women are diagnosed after that age. However, for women like myself, diagnosed before 40, I think that it is a bad idea.

When you start getting mammograms also depends on your family history of breast cancer. If you have close relatives who have dealt with breast cancer, depending on the age that they were diagnosed, you may need to start getting mammograms earlier than 40. If you have a family connection, then your doctor will probably suggest that you start getting your mammograms when you are at least 10 years younger than your relative was when she was diagnosed.

That 10-year gap is important because it gives your medical team a baseline for you, where they determine what healthy breasts for you look like. And then they compare each following mammogram to the baseline and they can track changes in your breasts.

My story is that I found my breast cancer by feeling a lump doing a BSE (breast self-exam). I wasn't 40 years old. In fact, I had been looking forward to that next step. I considered it a rite of passage that meant that I was indeed, growing and maturing. (Yes, I'm strange like that.)

So, I highly advise every woman to give herself a self-exam once a month. And also to remind the doctor to give you a clinical exam when you go for your yearly exam. It takes just a few moments and can make all the difference in the world.

You can make it fun and sexy if you want; ask your partner to join you in examining your breasts. Whatever it takes. Just make it happen.

That's all for now,

~Nic