I remembered it before the date arrived but I could not decide on a way to celebrate it. So, I pushed it to the back of my mind and didn't focus on it. Next thing I know... it was weeks beyond the date and I still had not acknowledged it or celebrated it. Last year, I forced myself to celebrate it. I wanted to be sure that I replaced the bad feelings that I had about my cancer with good feelings about my survival. But this year, I just had too much on my mind and I could not focus on something fun and frivolous.
So... now its many months later and I'm still a little weirded out that I skipped the date and the celebration. I think part of the problem is the date I chose to celebrate. Instead of celebrating the day I learned that I had cancer... maybe I should celebrate the day that I learned I didn't have cancer anymore. That was sometime in January 2009. I'll have to look through my notebook for the actual date.
I never actually heard my oncologist say "you're in remission" but he did say that there was no evidence of cancer in my body. And the surgeon who performed my mastectomy was super excited that when he removed my breast, there were no tumors found.
Sigh. Wow.
Just remembering that put me in a tight spot emotionally. I wanted my breast back as soon as he told me that. (laughs) I thought that they had all made some sort of huge error and I just wanted my body parts back... but of course, you can't reattach it once its gone. Which is a shame actually.
At any rate... for my followers who are survivors... do you celebrate your cancer-versary? And if so, how? I need some ideas.
