My skin is really dark in the radiated area. It is tender, like a sunburn. When I get home from treatment, I feel woozy and nauseous for hours. By the end of the night, I have a terrible headache, my chest is sore and I am a bit cranky. So, I'm glad to know that this crap is almost over.
A few more weeks and I'll be back to work. Back to my life, sort of. I will have to take a few "cancer breaks"... to finish my chemo and to get my reconstruction. So, its not as though everything will be the same as before. But it won't be like the past 6 months of treatment and surgery and recuperation and radiation. I can go to dinner, and maybe go on dates again. That would be nice. Hang out with my friends occasionally... that would be nice too. You know, just get back to living without cancer being the primary focus of my whole day.
I had written an entire post about losing friendships and how hard it was... but then my computer acted funky and it all was lost. It was good too... lol. But now, I don't feel like trying to remember all that I wrote. So, maybe it wasn't supposed to be seen.
Although I feel icky right now (radiation side effects)... I feel like a huge weight has been moved off my shoulders. I've gotten through just about everything that I was told I needed to do to be rid of my breast cancer. I still have to get through my herceptin chemo -- to help ensure that it won't come back. And then my reconstruction... and that's it.
Hmph. It feels rather anti-climatic after all the tears and fears and sickness and treatments. Like I want to have a party but I don't really feel (in this moment) like I've done anything. And I know that I have but the feeling hasn't caught up with the moment.
Right now... I want to whisk away to a tropical island and just kick back and relax. But, I can't just yet. I still have a few more doctor visits and treatments and stuff to do first. Maybe by the end of the year, I can take a week or two off and just not think about cancer for awhile.
