So, this is me and Tiff... at karaoke night on Wednesday, the night before my second chemo treatment. Just laughing and having fun. Nothing serious. That night was the best I'd felt physically since my first dose.
Now, its the day after the second dose and I'm moving a little slow, but I am not as achy as before. I'm hoping that it will remain this manageable for the next few days.
I wanted to tell y'all about the pee-pee man... and why I ended up writing all that stuff about my boyfriend.
On Thursday, D dropped me off at the medical center while he looked for a parking space. So I was in the waiting room by myself. Rather, I was without him but I wasn't alone because it was very crowded in there Thursday morning.
An older white gentleman came in, looking disheveled and unbathed but he seemed generally in control of his faculties. And then he walked past me and sat one seat away from me. Whew lawd... he smelled like strong urine. It was sad. His clothes were wrinkled and a bit dirty, his hair looked unwashed and stringy... he had this sad little black briefcase in his hand. Just a sight of pitifulness.
And the thought that hit me was... he's all alone. With the exception of a few folks, most of the patients had someone accompanying them. Let me tell you... it is a sad experience going to the Cancer Center. You know that everyone there is in a crisis. Some of us look like it, others do not. But you wouldn't be there if you didn't have to be.
D has gone with me to every doctor visit leading up to the chemotherapy and each chemo trip. He has been by my side every scary step of the way. As I stole glances at this gentleman, I felt sad for him. He seemed to be capable enough of taking care of himself, but not fully so. I wondered if he was single, or divorced or widowed. Someone around to tell him the basics like... honey, you can't wear these clothes, they stink. Or baby, you stink. Something like that... just a reminder in the midst of his own crisis that the world still goes on and you can be a part of it too.
A few moments later, D came up -- I sent him a warning text that the pee-pee man was in the waiting room and it was stanking to high heaven in there. He came into the center and found me. Greeted me with a kiss... and then pulled out a starbucks bag. :)
He had picked up some breakfast for me... an apple fritter and some luscious grapefruit juice. He didn't have to be that thoughtful, he never does... but he always is. Always. Even when I'm snappy, or silent, or tearful... he's right there, right there.... RIGHT THERE.
He took me back to the hospital today... for my follow up injection. And he had learned the day before when we were talking with the oncologists... that I have been battling some wicked gas. I mean... wooo lawd there are some moments over here when I just can't stand my own self. I've been keeping that secret really close to my heart. lol...
So... this afternoon, I had a moment when we were at pizza hut... when I felt the wickedness coming upon me... and I didn't know what to do. So, I did what I thought was best. I warned him that I was about to blow!
He could have made jokes, or made me feel badly... but he just laughed... and then challenged me to a duel.
lol... I do love that man.
I passed on the duel. Something tells me... I would have lost that fight... but I loved the way he diffused my fear just that easily.
I like going to the restaurant where he works...and just being around him and his family. But looking at the picture of me and Tiff... I know there will be days to come when I can't make it. There already have been days I had to stay in the bed. Didn't help when the doctor told me I couldn't have any late nights. I needed to get my rest, and stay home as much as possible.
What??
I tried to plead my love case... "my boyfriend works at a restaurant and I don't get to see him too often unless I go to where he is...." Yeah... that didn't go over to swell. I used to go over about 5 times a week. Have dinner with my baby after work, then head home. But now... its like once every other week. Maybe twice in a two week period. So, the time we spend in chemo is even more priceless because its basically hours of uninterrupted time.
All that to say... although I enjoy talking about people and giggling... won't lie. I often learn a lot about myself and life by just watching people. The pee-pee man reminded me that having someone in your corner, boyfriend, girlfriend, neighbors, family, colleagues... is priceless.
Just like this picture of me and Tiff.
Priceless.
