I wrote this post 2 years ago and I just realized that I needed to be reminded that LIFE IS TOO SHORT. I've been sitting still on the same dreams that I mention in this piece. I can't do that anymore. Life is too short. I've been blessed but I know that there is more in store for me. More, more, MORE!
I've started the process to attend the school I mentioned. I explained it to my boyfriend and he not only understood but he's supportive. I can't continue to live life afraid of failing. The failure will be dying without achieving my dreams.
*shaking my head*
Now, that is a frightening thought.
One of my current mantras is... Life is too short. I find myself saying that several times a day in response to everything from "should I eat this slice of pizza?" ... to "are those shoes really cute enough to buy?" and it covers all the space in between. Many times a day, I shrug my shoulders or shake my head and say... "Life is too short" and then proceed to go on with whatever it is that is making me pause. I am not living my life with the thought that I'm not worthy of this or that any more. I'm thinking big about a lot of things... and when I find myself getting comfortable with that, then I push a little harder at the edges and try to expand that thought more.
For example, I want to go back to school. I mentioned it to my best friend a few weeks ago and I explained to her why I was thinking about it. She was encouraging and yet cautious. When I told her the school that I was intending to go to she asked me to consider forgoing that effort and focusing instead on taking the classes that I needed at the local community college.
*shrug* Life is too short. I ain't doing it. (laughs)
Three years ago (before breast cancer), I may have agreed with her. I would have beat her to the punch about not going for a degree program and just taking a few classes to get the specific understanding that I wanted -- saving myself money and time which would allow me to jump right into the project that I'm planning. But now? These days? *shaking my head* Nope. I'm not going for that.
So, that big name Ivy school that I've dreamed of attending since I was a high school kid... yeah, I'm going for that. I hesitated at first because it will require me to relocate to another state. But when I thought about that for a moment, even that isn't a deterrent.
Look... life is too short. Things change in a damn instant. What I don't want to do is to find myself in a hospital bed one day, knowing that the end is close enough to touch and find myself asking..."what if my whole life was wrong?"
I can afford to risk and lose. But I'm betting on myself to risk and win. I will not live another day thinking that I'm living this life wrong.
What about you?