Or, learning how to be a lady by allowing him to be a gentleman. Also could be... sometimes you should just let people help you.
This crazy meme showed up on Facebook the other day and it made me giggle... and then it made me pause. The giggle was because half of the country has been battling unusual snow & coldness this week. While we don't have snow where I live, it has been wickedly cold. I laughed thinking about how many couples were probably going through some version of this conversation right now.
Y'all know my sense of humor is a little twisted.
But then I thought about it and I put myself and my boyfriend into the scenario. Welp... wasn't funny to me then.
This guy?? I love him... I do.
I love this cat. Seriously. While he's a morning person... I am not. No really. I am everything possibly OPPOSITE of being a morning person. And this dude? Wakes up with a pep in his step and a smile and a dance. So, if it should happen that I had to be to work hours before he did... I know that I wouldn't wake him up to clean off my car. Because if he was asleep later than me, he's tired. I'd want him to rest.
Wait... what? Did I just say that? Me? Queen of "She who hates snow and cold weather immensely"? Me? Who would rather sit inside for days on end than to go outside in the cold and bad weather? ME? I'd go and do it myself instead of waking up my guy to do it for me?
Well... yeah. I would. **This is all hypothetical and rhetorical because I don't have a car and we do not live together... **
I shared the picture on Facebook and the responses were interesting. Most of the responses (from women and men) were that the guy should get up and clean off her car. As I watched the responses come in, I started feeling bad. Because I honestly felt that if the situation were between me and my guy... I would NOT wake him up or expect him to do it.
But... wait. I think I'm kind of a traditional girl. Sort of. *blink*
Well, maybe not as much as I'd like to believe.
Hell... I don't know. I just know that there are times when gender roles work for me. And there are times when they don't. Generally speaking, I'm all about a guy doing what "guys do" and a girl doing what "girls do". But I run into problems because I don't always do what girls do.
Like... wait for him to open my door. Lawd... I am always catching the eye for that one. And as I thought about it, when I did have a vehicle and was dating... I could not remember ONE time when the man I was dating cleaned off my gar. Or pumped my gas. Or concerned himself in any way with how my vehicle was running. Or ... well, you get the picture. So I don't have a frame of reference for that.
I figured that if it was my car, it must be my business. Even though I grew up with my father cleaning off cars, sidewalks and driveways all my life. Even though I watched my daddy drive my mother (and sometimes me) to work when the weather was bad. When it came to me and my guy... it never entered my mind that he would even want to.
My guy thought it was strange that I even questioned it. He commented that if it were he and I, before I woke up my car would be cleared and he'd be available to drive me to work (or wherever) because I wouldn't need to be out there in bad weather trying to navigate the streets.
Wow. How about that?
As I thought about it for awhile... it reminded me of going through my cancer treatment. I was down... chemotherapy was hard as hell on my body. I was so weak; some days just getting to the bathroom and back into bed was a lot of work. I had to learn through that period of my life to allow people to do things for me. I'm better at accepting help than I was before breast cancer. But this silly Facebook meme reminded me that I'm not quite where I probably should be.
Guess I need to dust off my etiquette books and catch a refresher. I'm obviously slipping in my "being a lady" understanding.
What about you? Do you just do it yourself? Or do you wait for your guy (or someone else) to do certain things for you? Leave me a comment... let me know if I'm the only one out here struggling with falling back into bad habits.
PS. This book The New Basic Black: Home Training for Modern Times -- Revised Edition is a GREAT read for understanding basic etiquette (or home training as its referred to in the black community). I need to get the revised edition. I have the original and I loved it. Be sure to check it out.